Past Disasters, Volume 2

The war on the Lennon-McCartney songbook dragged on for a second week, ensnaring the two remaining members of the band Tuesday night on "American Idol" — not that the top 11 were clamoring to cover Ringo's "Octopus's Garden." Brooke White did take on George Harrison's warmer side with "Here Comes the Sun," but nobody had the good judgment to cover "Taxman," an excellent song that resonates more loudly the closer mid-April gets. Most of the contestants settled for taxing my nerves, instead.

The good news was that David Archuleta remembered his words, which made it that much easier to forget everyone else. He leads this week's performance recap.

He likes it long, I hear: Chosen David worked it out this week. He regained any lost ground from those fumbled lyrics on the first Beatles night with a classy, indelible take on "The Long and Winding Road." If he keeps this up, nobody will be able to catch up as he travels the last 10 weeks of twists and turns. Has anyone else noticed at this point that David has a tendency to lick his lips in between lines? I'm not sure if he just likes the flavor of some lip gloss he's wearing or he's offering a salacious come-on to any attractive male audience members. All I know is I do the same maneuver before I'm about to go down on a guy. Of course, the judges were ready to offer a sloppy blowjob of praise to make up for the harsh words of last week. A

'Yesterday' once more: Syesha Mercado hasn't made much of an impact so far. For my money, she's either oversung the hell out of a song (shouting it vs. singing it) or just been plain forgettable. That changed tonight with a lovely, folksy rendition of "Yesterday." True, it's the most-covered song in history and she didn't necessarily bring anything new to it, but there was some genuine emotion and subtlety there amid the occasional pitch problem. Simon was right when he called it her best performance ever, but then hedged his praise by saying it wasn't amazing. That's good enough for second place tonight, though. B+

Well, she captured the red states: What are some of the signs that a song — however awesome in its day — has become dated? Perhaps it mentions pop culture figures and events that have long since passed or it will talk about a 10-cent soda. One thing I always look for is a title reference to nation-states that no longer exist. Take "Back in the U.S.S.R.," for instance. I happen to love this clever song (as much Lenin as Lennon in it) and enjoy listening to it on the White Album. But its time as a live song passed even before the country's dissolution back in 1991. I can see why Amanda Overmyer chose it, but it doesn't help complaints that she's just a nostalgia act. As far as the actual performance, it started off shaky but she brought some vigor to it half-way through. Not her best, but still one of the better performances of the night. B 

Swan or ugly duckling? Carly Smithson offered up an affecting take on "Blackbird," but it was the speech afterward that made the biggest impression. It seems there's more of a concerted effort by the producers (Ryan, at the least) to get contestants to argue back with the judges and rationalize their choices. Hearing Carly whine about the pressures of the music industry (yes, it's a tough industry) and feeling like a broken bird revealed a desperation to her stint on the show that had previously been simmering just below the surface. Simon was offering solid criticism, as always — even if I didn't necessarily agree with his attack on the song choice — and we end up hearing a long-winded defense by the singer. It's best to let the song and performance speak for themselves. B-

Here comes the shun: Brooke White knew it was inevitable that she'd mess a song up and the judges would turn on her after weeks of effusive praise. So the perpetually cheery folksy took it in stride and actually told the judges it was all right for them to hate on her performance of "Here Comes the Sun" (a song covered with perfection by Nina Simone). With her blond hair, warm demeanor and yellow dress, the whole thing came off as a cliché before the first note was sung, and the judges let her know it. "It's OK," she told them repeatedly. The same was true of the performance itself. C+

A day in the strife: This is an ambitious, complex song — too much so for the "Idol" stage. As Simon told Michael Johns, the 90 second time frame does the song no justice, nor the singer — not even if said hunk pulls out the desperation card (a dedication to a dead friend or relative who loved it). He nearly pulled off a similar feat with "Bohemian Rhapsody" in the Hollywood rounds, but has yet to really nail a song. This one, while an admirable attempt, was still all over the map. I still think he's good enough to avoid the bottom 3 this week, but the voting public may disagree. C

French disconnection: Jason Castro was previously unaware that "ma belle" was French. There's something about "Idol" interview segments that encourages contestants to share their ignorance with America (my theory is that it helps bond them with the viewing public, with its own share of ignorance). Anyway, he picks a love song and it's a bit of a snooze. With the right song, he has a charm that will carry any weakness in his voice. But when he doesn't connect — like tonight — it's all rather forgettable. C

Well, she should have: With all the songs in the Beatles' discography, "I Should Have Known Better" isn't the one that would leap to mind as an opportunity to shine. Simon was targeting contestants' choices all night by calling them bad songs (most of them were actually quite good but not right for the singer or the show); this pick by Ramiele Mulabay was the most forgettable of the bunch. Maybe that's why they gave her the last spot. It's usually reserved for a highlight of the evening, but perhaps producers feared voters wouldn't remember her past another commercial break and Kristy Lee Cook (who gets votes for attributes other than her singing) would be back in her stead. C 

You've got to hide your voice away, girl: Speaking of KLC, I'm thinking it's a bottom 2 death match between her and Ramiele since Syesha will get some votes this week (perhaps enough to push Michael Johns into the bottom 3). This week was an improvement over last week's country-tinged fiasco, but that's probably due to the quality of the song and not the quality of the vocals (or lack thereof). "You've Got to Hide Your Love Away" is one of my favorite Beatles compositions. But KLC didn't leave me with the feeling she understood the nuances of the lyrics when she bragged that she picked the song because it had a cool title and had never heard it before. C-

I just saw a disgrace: I don't get Chikezie, his attitude of false superiority, his horrid fashion, his throw-everything-out-and-see-what-sticks musical bag of tricks. He took "I Just Saw a Face," an absolutely lovely song, and did all sorts of horrific things with it: He started it out as a ballot (fine), added some harmonica (which he bragged that he just learned to play. Ha!) and then took it off to country music land (apparently because it worked so well for KLC last week). It was a mess. C-

What the fuck are you tripping on? The tortured artist David Cook wins worst performance of the week for three consecutive weeks (not to mention worst hair since the week that Garrett was voted off in the semifinals) with his version of "Day Tripper." Not content to "make it his own" — meaning make it a wretched emo rock number — he makes it another band's crappy cover. He found a version of the song by White Snake that he emulates. One of the greatest bands in the history of popular music and he has to go search out a cover by an 80s hair band. How tedious and pompous and plain cacophonous. Simon called it a smug performance, and that's the perfect adjective to describe Bad Hair David's tenure on the show. The voters need to do the right thing and leave only one David and one Cook in the Top 10. D

One of the major problems with the run of "Idol" this season is the choice to start out with theme nights — and then pick themes that haven't allowed thus far a song past 1989 to be used. Imagine if Blake Lewis hadn't been able to sing "Somewhere Only We Know" by this point last season. I'm all for classic rock, but let's hear something a bit more current. Not to mention that half of these contestants don't know the Beatles' discography, as crazy as that sounds. I feel like I'm in some karaoke classroom where those who don't know their musical history are forced to repeat it (in off-key fashion).

I have a bad feeling next week's show is going to be the solo catalogues of the four Beatles members. What do you think? "Band on the Run"? "Working Class Hero"? "My Sweet Lord"? Something by Ringo? Maybe Chosen David can sing the other verses he left out of "Imagine." After this week's show, I surely wouldn't complain.