Age Inappropriate

In an effort to ensure the performers continue performing old and stale songs, Tuesday night's "American Idol" focused on songs from the contestants' year of birth — which gave us only one song written within the last two decades. And what the fuck was 17-year-old David singing again, anyway?  John Farnham's ''You're the Voice''?

I had never heard of it, and it didn't inspire me to search out the original. It was just one of the night's disappointments. I'm already looking forward to next week's Dolly Parton night (though not the inevitable Whitney Houstonized version of the Parton classic "I Will Always Love You")

Here's a quick recap:

Michael Johns: If you told me he'd score the best performance of the night on a medley of "We Will Rock You/We Are the Champions," I would have told you the sexy Aussie must have reinvigorated the original meanings of the sly Queen songs — homosexual anthems claimed for the revelry of the hetero football stadium — by doing a few Stripper David moves on the "Idol" stage. The fact that he did it with his voice speaks more to the rest of the evening than any particular vocal triumph here. B

Brooke White: "Every Breath You Take." The judges got it right: The first half was great, the second half not so much. B-

David Archuleta: "You're the Voice." His voice was OK, but Chosen David needs to choose better songs. B-

Syesha Mercado: "If I Were Your Woman." Yawn. C+

Jason Castro: "Fragile." Yawn again. C+

Carly Smithson: "Total Eclipse of the Heart." I prefer the Jessica Sierra version from "Idol" a few years back. Like many songs on Tuesday, it wasn't horrible but it was instantly forgettable. C+

Ramiele Mulabay: "Alone." She doesn't come near the Carrie Underwood version, much less the Heart original. C

Kristy Lee Cook: "God Bless the U.S.A." Simon was right with her smart song choice. This hackneyed patriotism will play well in the residents of the Land of Wal-Mart. It doesn't play so well with my ears. C-

Chikezie: "If Only For One Night." I certainly wouldn't encourage a return engagement. C-

David Cook: "Billy Jean." He once again shows there's no odd cover version of a pop hit he won't plunder for his own gain while trying to persuade the audience and judges he's an artist of startling originality and vision. He's just a hack. Who wants to bet he does the White Stripes' take on "Jolene" next week? D+